Do you ever have those moments in your life when it's seems control has been taken right out of your hands? When you realize that you have to depend on a higher power to get you through? I think God does this to me on purpose, cause I am a control freak. I don't like surprises. I like to know when things are going to happen and how and why and where. I like to know that things won't go wrong and they won't be hard and everyone will be blessed and happy and free. But, that's not possible all the time...hardly ever. Life is hard sometimes and you don't know the direction you are headed in but you know you are traveling down that road so fast and you can't control it. I don't like being in these places in my life. But like I said before, I think God does it to me on purpose so I will depend on Him. I want to be the one that says, "God, I'm not going to bother you with this today. I'm going to handle it, so You won't have to. Cause I can and I don't want to bother You." I know God is in Heaven saying, "Good Lord, Elisha. It's not for you to handle." My mom has a piece of paper on her fridge that says, "Hello, this is God. I just wanted to let you know that I will be handling all of your problems today." He does it because He wants to, so we won't have to, because He loves us that much. I know all of the scriptures about trusting and waiting and God leading you through and I don't know why I can't get to that point to just rest in His faithfulness and not get all worked up about it. I know that's what He wants from us. He doesn't want us to worry, or cry, or be upset, or angry, or have fear. He wants us to be at peace knowing that He will take care of it. He is our Daddy after all. I know I want those things for my children and He wants even more than that for me. I look back on my life and I see through every phase how God has brought me through. He never left me and most of the hurt I experienced I brought on myself. I don't know why I am sharing this. I am always so apprehensive about being transparent and posting things like this for all to see, but I know I felt lead to do it for someone. I know it's going to be hard for me to do, but starting now, I have got to let go and give it to God and rest in His faithfulness. I know His promises for me and I know He doesn't lie. I know He is faithful, even when I haven't been. I know He doesn't want me to push Him out, even in the bad times. I know He wants to be involved in every aspect of my life....the good and the bad. Mom was telling me about a book she was reading by Joyce Meyer. In the book, Joyce was talking about going bowling. She admitted she wasn't very good. Just when she was about to roll the ball, she heard God ask her, "Joyce, why don't you ask me to help you?" She said she kind of laughed and thought to herself, why would I ask you to help me with something as silly as bowling and God said, "Because I want to be involved in every aspect of your life." Isn't that the most wonderful thing, that the God of Heaven and Earth even wants to bowl with you. I made the decision then to be more conscience of God, even in the little things. Because that is how much He loves me and if He loves me that much, then He will get me through this.